The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance.   --Alan Watts

Alan Watts was my introduction to other forms of spirituality. I was raised in the Christian Science, Baptist and Catholic faiths depending on who was taking me to church.  One Christmas my sister and I received radios for gifts. Somehow, the first thing that caught my attention as I was flipping the dial around, was Alan Watts talking about Zen Buddhism. Now if you have ever heard this mans' lectures you know he is engaging, funny and profoundly knowledgeable about the subject. I was hooked. Every Sunday I was home I would get breakfast and go back into my room, shut the door and listen to Alan for an hour. 

Last week I got good and bad news regarding the problems I have been having with my neck. First I have very little disc left between the disc in my neck. I can see where the bone spurs are from the arthritis. This means that small movements can make a big difference. Looking at the xrays was important for me. What I can see, I can process. ( The whole idea that a report is all a doctor needs to make a determination is crazy. ) But it was the conversations and the questions the doctor asked that took 24 hours to gestate. 

He asked me about how much my handwriting had changed, if I was having any twitching in my hands, if I was dropping things. I have been dropping things more often but the rest was negative. I have, however, been making sloppy mistakes when I draw. Not big ones, just ones I notice. When I start loosing fine motor skills we will talk about the next step in treatment. In the mean time I needed to adjust my computer screen, and some of the other things I do that require looking down or up. I need to keep my head and neck straight and level. Still working on that. 

The next morning I starting thinking about the whole thing and it really dawned on me what it meant. That was when I burst into tears. That was when I realized how my identity is wrapped around what I do with my hands and eyes, and how most of the time I look down when I draw, work on the computer, sew, crochet, garden, do stained glass, jewelry. The list is very long. Washing dishes, cooking, chopping vegetables, reading, using the cell phone. I knew working on the computer was creating pain, but I am going to have to make some choices. I need to choose the things that are very important to me, finish  those and make changes in how I do things. 

My chiropractor talked to me about the power of an alkaline diet to prevent and control arthritis. He reminded me that movement is the best tonic. So it is time to '... make sense out of change and plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance." Thank you, Alan Watts.