Anxiety

"The most important thing in communication is to hear what isn't being said."

—Peter Drucker: was an influential writer & management consultant 

This is the theme I used for my Midterm, however the midterm piece was not as good as this. We were givien a folder of pictures, some requirements to show that we had learned what we had been taught.  and two hours to work. This is what initiated the anxiety about whether I am doing the right thing or not by going back to school. I don't work well quickly. This took hours of noodling. 


I sometimes imagine I am being talked about behind my back. That I am not good enough, that I am doing a bad job, that I am not doing enough. That there is this list of things I was sposed to do. So I work hard and I try to do more and then I work even harder and try to do even more. This is the negative side of the above quote. I work myself into a state of anxiety. Completely internal from what I can tell, but so distracting. 


Happy New Year to All. 

The day after Christmas

"You can have brilliant ideas, but if you can't get them across, your ideas won't get you anywhere."

 —Lee Iacocca: Businessman, author, former CEO of Chrysler Corporation 

"Tranquility" December 2011. 

Not my images, but my manipulation of the images. That is what communication is. When I arrange words into ideas and present them in a certain way, that is communication. The same is true of images. Graphic design is using images, typography, design, color, composition to communicate an idea. What is and will be different for me is that I will eventually be using my own photographs, my own artwork to create a design that communicates an idea. 

Stress

It has been a very long time since I have been so tired, so unable to just work up the drive to do what needed to be done. More than that to do good work. I am actually recovering, but I am going to make adjustments in the second half of the term.

Every now and then go away, have a little relaxation, for when you come back to your work your judgment will be surer. Go some distance away because then the work appears smaller and more of it can be taken in at a glance and a lack of harmony and proportion is more readily seen. 

- Leonardo Da Vinci

I have found myself engaging in my favorite childhood fantasy. Please forgive me if you are offended, or don't get it. This goes back to my earliest memories. In it I discover I am the last person alive on the planet.   When I put myself in this place, I find that all of the stress I feel about life leaves, and I have a profound sense of peace.  Now I have adjusted it a bit. I realize I would be happy to be the only person alive in a thousand miles. I realize says a lot about what stresses me out, and why I am stressed at all. But there you are. Everything would be different without people. 

I don't have an image small enough to download. Too much to do in too little time. One of the many tasks to attempt on winter break from school. . . . while I am at school anyway, redoing work that I feel is substandard, so that I can resubmit it for a better grade. 

Friday Evening

Forgot a quote for the first one.

This is what keeps me going, my belief that I have a reason for being here. I think it has to do with art, I cannot see how it does not.

"Each person has this magical thing called Soul Purpose within them. The difference between surviving and thriving has to do with whether we see it or not."

— Garrett Gunderson: is an entrepreneur and author

But I am still exhausted and am going to be early. 6:30 is way early for me. yawn. 

Time

I am not posting a piece of art. I just finished two midterms, one in InDesign and one in Photoshop. Not terribly difficult if I had found enough of the time I needed to study and do my homework in the manner that I am accustomed to. But this term the study and homework time required more of a commitment of resources than I had. The available time comes out of sleep, and from poor little Chalupa who already spends way too much time home alone. I can sacrifice a few hours of sleep, however I find I feel very guilty if I leave him home, without being able to go out for long periods of time. It is really difficult to do all my homework at school. Not having the resources at home is tough, but I am also grateful that I have access to everything at school.

Over break I am redoing some of the work that I turned in that I did not get 100% on, and resubmitting it. See if I can play a bit of catch-up. Those midterms? I will be happy if I got a "B" on either one. Very sad. Amy is taking Cahlupa for a while during Christmas break. Poor guy needs a vacation as much as I do. 

Cats

"The thing is, we have to let go of all blame, all attacking, all judging, to free our inner selves to attract what we say we want. Until we do, we are hamsters in a cage chasing our own tails and wondering why we aren't getting the results we seek."

— Dr. Joe Vitale: Motivational author and speaker

Fun with Photoshop. Needs some clean up, but it is still pretty funny. 

I am taking two very important classes this term, one is InDesign, which is part of Adobe Creative Suite 5. InDesign is a page layout program: Newsletters, magazines etc.  The other class is Photoshop. The trick with Photoshop is not to make it look like it was manipulated in Photoshop. That is the part that takes time and patience. The programs are described as robust. That is an understatement. You can do so much with either one that the possibilities are endless. 

I am becoming much more efficient due to the lack of time I have. Sometimes, however, I find myself wishing for a cats life. Meow. 

Freezing in CA

"Income is derived by what value we can create for others, therefore do what you enjoy, do it the best, and this will allow you to create the most value."

— Garrett Gunderson: is an entrepreneur and author

Freezing is a relative term of course. I am not in Michigan. I got my plants in the garage the day before the freeze warning. No more running around to cover every one when I know it is going to freeze. I get home too late now. Work and school, long days. 

This piece is from 1977, from a drawing marathon at CCAC in Oakland. Great day, I have a series of drawings I did of the same group of models. 

A Beautiful Saturday in CA

"There comes a time when the mind
takes a higher plane of knowledge
but can never prove how it got there."

— Albert Einstein: was the father of modern physics

What is cool about this picture of a CA poppy is the critter in the middle. I think it is a grass hopper of some sort, I don't actually know. I think it is the extra something that makes the photo interesting. This is from 2008 and the first bloom of poppy seeds I scattered. 

The wind has died down, and from what I understand Sacramento was spared the worst, although we had a couple of days that were a reminder of who is in charge on the planet. Yesterday after noon was so warm and wonderful I raked leaves for three hours (yes there were actually that many leaves) until it got dark and cold. Blessings from nature. 

Purpose and passion

"Purpose creates an opportunity for value creation. Passion follows purpose. Passion creates energy, money is attracted to energy."

— Garrett Gunderson: is an entrepreneur and author

I believe that we all have a gift. Something we can do that we do in a unique way, but not that we necessarily do it better. I have three things in life that I am passionate about: Gardening, Art, and Cooking. I had my first herb garden when I was 9. I have always lived somewhere with land enough for a vegetable garden, it is so much a part of who I am. This Artichoke photograph is from 2008, when I planted a garden where I live now. 

They are such beautiful plants, (Passion #'s 1 & 2) and they have that wonderful thistle like flower that is edible (passion #3) and if you let it go to seed, has a big purple flower. I always let one go. 

I know my purpose is to find the way put my three passions together. One of my dreams has always been to have a small coffee house/restaurant, gallery and nursery combination. I would have to wear all three hats sometimes, but it just seems like a great way to combine my talents and passions. Not just my food, and not just my art, and not just my plants, but more a meeting place or collaboration for people whose interests run parallel to mine.