Anxiety

"The most important thing in communication is to hear what isn't being said."

—Peter Drucker: was an influential writer & management consultant 

This is the theme I used for my Midterm, however the midterm piece was not as good as this. We were givien a folder of pictures, some requirements to show that we had learned what we had been taught.  and two hours to work. This is what initiated the anxiety about whether I am doing the right thing or not by going back to school. I don't work well quickly. This took hours of noodling. 


I sometimes imagine I am being talked about behind my back. That I am not good enough, that I am doing a bad job, that I am not doing enough. That there is this list of things I was sposed to do. So I work hard and I try to do more and then I work even harder and try to do even more. This is the negative side of the above quote. I work myself into a state of anxiety. Completely internal from what I can tell, but so distracting. 


Happy New Year to All. 

The day after Christmas

"You can have brilliant ideas, but if you can't get them across, your ideas won't get you anywhere."

 —Lee Iacocca: Businessman, author, former CEO of Chrysler Corporation 

"Tranquility" December 2011. 

Not my images, but my manipulation of the images. That is what communication is. When I arrange words into ideas and present them in a certain way, that is communication. The same is true of images. Graphic design is using images, typography, design, color, composition to communicate an idea. What is and will be different for me is that I will eventually be using my own photographs, my own artwork to create a design that communicates an idea. 

Stress

It has been a very long time since I have been so tired, so unable to just work up the drive to do what needed to be done. More than that to do good work. I am actually recovering, but I am going to make adjustments in the second half of the term.

Every now and then go away, have a little relaxation, for when you come back to your work your judgment will be surer. Go some distance away because then the work appears smaller and more of it can be taken in at a glance and a lack of harmony and proportion is more readily seen. 

- Leonardo Da Vinci

I have found myself engaging in my favorite childhood fantasy. Please forgive me if you are offended, or don't get it. This goes back to my earliest memories. In it I discover I am the last person alive on the planet.   When I put myself in this place, I find that all of the stress I feel about life leaves, and I have a profound sense of peace.  Now I have adjusted it a bit. I realize I would be happy to be the only person alive in a thousand miles. I realize says a lot about what stresses me out, and why I am stressed at all. But there you are. Everything would be different without people. 

I don't have an image small enough to download. Too much to do in too little time. One of the many tasks to attempt on winter break from school. . . . while I am at school anyway, redoing work that I feel is substandard, so that I can resubmit it for a better grade. 

Friday Evening

Forgot a quote for the first one.

This is what keeps me going, my belief that I have a reason for being here. I think it has to do with art, I cannot see how it does not.

"Each person has this magical thing called Soul Purpose within them. The difference between surviving and thriving has to do with whether we see it or not."

— Garrett Gunderson: is an entrepreneur and author

But I am still exhausted and am going to be early. 6:30 is way early for me. yawn. 

Time

I am not posting a piece of art. I just finished two midterms, one in InDesign and one in Photoshop. Not terribly difficult if I had found enough of the time I needed to study and do my homework in the manner that I am accustomed to. But this term the study and homework time required more of a commitment of resources than I had. The available time comes out of sleep, and from poor little Chalupa who already spends way too much time home alone. I can sacrifice a few hours of sleep, however I find I feel very guilty if I leave him home, without being able to go out for long periods of time. It is really difficult to do all my homework at school. Not having the resources at home is tough, but I am also grateful that I have access to everything at school.

Over break I am redoing some of the work that I turned in that I did not get 100% on, and resubmitting it. See if I can play a bit of catch-up. Those midterms? I will be happy if I got a "B" on either one. Very sad. Amy is taking Cahlupa for a while during Christmas break. Poor guy needs a vacation as much as I do. 

Cats

"The thing is, we have to let go of all blame, all attacking, all judging, to free our inner selves to attract what we say we want. Until we do, we are hamsters in a cage chasing our own tails and wondering why we aren't getting the results we seek."

— Dr. Joe Vitale: Motivational author and speaker

Fun with Photoshop. Needs some clean up, but it is still pretty funny. 

I am taking two very important classes this term, one is InDesign, which is part of Adobe Creative Suite 5. InDesign is a page layout program: Newsletters, magazines etc.  The other class is Photoshop. The trick with Photoshop is not to make it look like it was manipulated in Photoshop. That is the part that takes time and patience. The programs are described as robust. That is an understatement. You can do so much with either one that the possibilities are endless. 

I am becoming much more efficient due to the lack of time I have. Sometimes, however, I find myself wishing for a cats life. Meow. 

Freezing in CA

"Income is derived by what value we can create for others, therefore do what you enjoy, do it the best, and this will allow you to create the most value."

— Garrett Gunderson: is an entrepreneur and author

Freezing is a relative term of course. I am not in Michigan. I got my plants in the garage the day before the freeze warning. No more running around to cover every one when I know it is going to freeze. I get home too late now. Work and school, long days. 

This piece is from 1977, from a drawing marathon at CCAC in Oakland. Great day, I have a series of drawings I did of the same group of models. 

A Beautiful Saturday in CA

"There comes a time when the mind
takes a higher plane of knowledge
but can never prove how it got there."

— Albert Einstein: was the father of modern physics

What is cool about this picture of a CA poppy is the critter in the middle. I think it is a grass hopper of some sort, I don't actually know. I think it is the extra something that makes the photo interesting. This is from 2008 and the first bloom of poppy seeds I scattered. 

The wind has died down, and from what I understand Sacramento was spared the worst, although we had a couple of days that were a reminder of who is in charge on the planet. Yesterday after noon was so warm and wonderful I raked leaves for three hours (yes there were actually that many leaves) until it got dark and cold. Blessings from nature. 

Purpose and passion

"Purpose creates an opportunity for value creation. Passion follows purpose. Passion creates energy, money is attracted to energy."

— Garrett Gunderson: is an entrepreneur and author

I believe that we all have a gift. Something we can do that we do in a unique way, but not that we necessarily do it better. I have three things in life that I am passionate about: Gardening, Art, and Cooking. I had my first herb garden when I was 9. I have always lived somewhere with land enough for a vegetable garden, it is so much a part of who I am. This Artichoke photograph is from 2008, when I planted a garden where I live now. 

They are such beautiful plants, (Passion #'s 1 & 2) and they have that wonderful thistle like flower that is edible (passion #3) and if you let it go to seed, has a big purple flower. I always let one go. 

I know my purpose is to find the way put my three passions together. One of my dreams has always been to have a small coffee house/restaurant, gallery and nursery combination. I would have to wear all three hats sometimes, but it just seems like a great way to combine my talents and passions. Not just my food, and not just my art, and not just my plants, but more a meeting place or collaboration for people whose interests run parallel to mine. 

Windy in California

The wind is really blowing! I went for a walk this afternoon and the wind was blowing so hard it almost moved me, and I am a big girl. But the sky is clear, and the air smells clean and sharp. With the leaves off the trees I will be able to see the Great Horned Owls that live in the trees around our property.

"Thoughts are sending out that magnetic signal that is drawing the parallel back to you."

— Dr. Joe Vitale: Motivational author and speaker

I take a lot of photographs of flowers. They are also my favorite subject to draw, and to me are some of the most beautiful expressions of nature. This was just a lucky shot. "Calla with fly" 2007, Sacramento.

Change of focus

"The mind, once expanded to the dimensions of larger ideas, never returns to its original size."

— Oliver Wendell Holmes: was an Associate Justice of
the Supreme Court of the United States

An old friend wrote to me and suggested I stop worrying about the daily post, and do what I can when I can. That was a bit of a relief to hear. Those of us who have been going to school, with deadlines, etc know how stressful it can be to hit those, while you are involved in the learning curve of learning something new. That deadline is a useful tool because it forces you to take what you have learned and use it, quickly, and usually that means you will hang on to the information. It is a kind of expansion such as the good Justice spoke of in the quote. 

This is actually a class assignment from this past year in the spring, Design Fundamentals. I went into this class thinking OMG I am going to be so bored. But the review of principles, the reminder of color theory, all of those little things you need to know to make a good composition turned out to be a good boot in the butt. And the instructor and I went to the Academy of Art in San Francisco, me for my BFA, he for his MFA. So he raised the bar a bit for me. 

This piece was a collage timeline. It begins in the left corner with a sun drawing from high school, and moves through postmarks, sketches and drawings to the Postmark that represents the start of school. I collect postmarks, and the square barcodes because they are interesting visually. I also collect stamps, and someday when I have some free time for fine art I am going to do some mixed media and collage pieces incorporating them. I did not draw the Sumo Wrestler or the Cat. The Sumo Wrestler alludes to a slide that we were shown in class that made us all laugh, which is why it is at the end of the sequence. And new to my posts, this one is for web only and will not expand to view detail. Sorry, I have become concerned about copyright infringement. ;-(

So until the next post. 

Day 22, another skipped.

I don't know how Warren does it. He has hit every single oneof his deadlines for 157 days straight. It is so much harder than it looks. Yesterday I was distracted by 8 loads of laundry, 3/4 of which I brought home to dry in my dryer. Seems like a pretty wimpy excuse, Especially when I am pulling from previously done work. Anyway on to the task at hand.

You will never find time for anything. If you want time you must make it.
Charles Buxton

"The Gypsy" was done in the 1980's at a drawing marathon. This part of the pose was the interesting part for me.  I enjoy working with graphite, although it is messy and hard to keep clean. I likely did this on site, and it was probably a long pose of an hour or so. But I would have finished the details at home. but I can tell from looking at it I was working pretty fast. (for me. . .)

Day 21

I hope this is Day 21.  2 days skipped and T-day. I am sure this is day 21.

"My friends are my estate."

- Emily Dickinson

This is a self portrait I imagined of my self as an old woman. 1994.

At the beginning of this week I experienced a rather scary arrhythmia with my heart that is still coming and going. Strong weak, skipping beats. Scary. I think it is related to caffeine, and possibly sugar. Both of which are weaknesses. It has made me consider what I need to concentrate on. I liked the quote because I feel that my friends are my estate, but in addition my artwork is my estate. Both are the only things of real value I would leave behind. 

But keeping everything in context is important. Life is good, the weather was beautiful today, and I spent time in the garden, took a nap. I am making turkey soup.  Tomorrow I will rise early, go to the laundry mat and do a few loads of laundry. I don't have to work. I will finish a couple of projects I am behind on. Study for a quiz.  A rare 4 days off. Perfect timing. 

Thanksgiving Day

"Formal education will make you a living;
self-education will make you a fortune."

— Jim Rohn: was an American author and motivational speaker

Thanksgiving Day 2011. I actually turned in this assignment last evening for my Photoshop I class. The objective was to cut three objects from their backgrounds and place them on a completely separate background. I used my animal, vegetable, mineral theme, and added a couple of design elements. One is a piece of my own artwork, which in this case is the bag of runes, and the other is the atmospheric element of Fire. 

The quote relates to something I believe in very strongly, and that I see daily: you have to want to learn, you have to be able to go beyond what you are taught. I have been drawing with the profession of an artist in mind since I was 12. I approach every assignment, every opportunity as if it is the most important one I have to do. It is never just for school. It is for my life as an artist, so everything is the best I can do at that point, other wise why bother?

I made the holiday meal for my sister and I. I am the cook in our part of the family. She gets to take home all the dark meat, and half the food. She doesn't really cook much. Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday because I really love to cook. I do truly hope everyone had a wonderful day. I am very grateful for all that is happening in my life right now, even the less than perfect parts because they are opportunities. 

2 days missed

A Divine Image

BY WILLIAM BLAKE

Cruelty has a human heart

And jealousy a human face,

Terror the human form divine,

And secrecy the human dress.

The human dress is forged iron,

The human form a fiery forge,

The human face a furnace seal'd,

The human heart its hungry gorge.

I am sorry for the missed days. I didn't even realize. Life is a little crazy. This is an illustration for the poem. 1994 or 1995. 

Day 17

All art is autobiographical. The pearl is the oyster's autobiography.

Federico Fellini

That is such a true statement. And as I get older, when I do art, I try to make it as close to my vision as I can. I perceive illustration and design as the points where my vision merges with someone else's. Not always easy, but always interesting. 

This is mixed media: watercolor, colored pencil and felt tip pen.  Circa 1991 to 1995. I cut the bag of runes out and put them in my current Photoshop assignment. I will post that in a couple of days. 

Day 16

"If you don't get noticed, you don't have anything. You just have to be noticed, but the art is in getting noticed naturally, without screaming or without tricks."

— Leo Burnett: was a renowned 20th century advertising executive

Just in time for the holidays. This was actually an assignment for illustrating cranberry bread. Knowing the way I work, I probably bought the goods, photographed the still life and drew it.
Circa 1991 to 1995, exact date unknown.

One of my challenges in the next six months is to start creating my identity as a graphic designer. New territory for me. Still not sure where I want or need to go. My plan is to use the fine art and illustration background with the graphic design education, but I am still not sure what that means.  I am very conscious of wanting to be visible, but not sure exactly how to do that in a way that will work for me and that is what I found interesting about this quote.

Day 15

"You must find the place inside yourself where nothing is impossible."

— Deepak Chopra: is an authority in the field of mind-body healing

The quote above really applies to art. Within every artist is this nagging thought that we don't have value, that we don't know what we are doing. Most of us keep it locked in a little room in a dark corner of our souls. Sometimes not so much. But we always keep working. That is the key to life: Never stop. Never stop because within every person there is a solution to every problem, not always the best solution, but a solution. Everything is relative. I believe in a limitless universe of endless possibility. My job is to express that artistically. I certainly try to keep that little doubtful voice locked in the little room. If it escapes, I listen to it, because that is the polite thing to do, then I ask it to go back and not come out until it is really important. Sometimes what Doubt has to say is very important. 

This piece is from my art school time. The class was about drawing the figure, in a class room setting and putting that figure in another environment. Which was completely up to us individually. Great fun, and expanded my mind. Circa 1994.

Day 14

"A house is not a home unless it contains food and fire for the mind as well as the body."

— Benjamin Franklin: was a Founding Father of the United States

This is one of my favorite drawings from my time at the Academy of Art University, in San Francisco, circa 1991 - 1995. I don't remember the class name, but I remember it was always somewhat experimental and we were told to draw this figure in a graphic manner, with a colored grease pencil. Then we colored. It was great fun, and I thought, successful. I have used a similar technique in a couple of illustrations, and have used crayon and water color to achieve interesting textures in other pieces of art. 

Day 13

If you don't have time to do it right, when will you have time to do it over?
John Wooden

Australian Bearded Dragon, 1995, Watercolor and colored pencil. I have a friend who used to have quite a few of these charming lizards. She bred them. I enjoy looking at reptiles, but never have owned any. They smell in captivity. I love drawing them. 

Day 12

"Life is now in session. Are you present?"

- B. Copeland

Graphite on paper, done on site. San Francisco, 1992 The quote is appropriate because drawing requires you become one with your environment and your subject. The pencil is an extension of what you see. Life really does require that sort of attention however most of us, myself included, rarely focus on just the moment we are in. 

Day 11

Let each man exercise the art he knows.

Aristophanes (450 BC - 388 BC), 

Long before I went to Art School, I spent time drawing in Junior College Classes, figure drawing primarily, and doing Drawing Marathons all over the San Francisco East Bay. For $10 you could go and figure draw all day, Three or four models, doing long and short poses. My friend Q and I thought this was the best way to spend a day. We came home with many drawings which we would later color with Prismacolor pencils, acrylic, watercolor, whatever. I am fond of this drawing  because it reminds me of a great and free time in my artistic development. Circa late 1970's

Day10

First of all let me say before I post anything else that there are a few things about the blog I can only control by going in and fixing the html code, and that may have to wait a while, simply because it takes time. I am frustrated too. 

Art is not what you see, but what you make others see. Edgar Degas This is actually a long term doodle. I started in the center and worked on it over the period of many weeks. I did about four of these at the beginning of school when most of the class content was less than stimulating, when it was lecture and I just wanted to listen, not take notes, or when I had time between classes. Now I would not have time. too much computer work to do. Pen and ink, various colors. The background is pencil.

Ferris Design & Illustration: Day 9

http://southwestdragonflies.net/caphotos/2_Anisoptera.html

Day 9

"By three methods we may learn wisdom:
First, by reflection, which is noblest;
Second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third by experience, which is the bitterest. "

— Confucius: was a Chinese thinker and social philosopher

A sketch, or comp, circa 1990's. I have three subjects I really can get lost in. Flowers, Critters of any sort including insects, and people. A Portrait is the most challenging thing to do. 

The quote is very much about all things in life, and for me very much about the way I approach art. I constantly reflect on what I am doing and what I have done. Imitation teaches you about how others have successfully approached a problem. Experience is key to becoming a decent artist. Practice, practice, practice. 

Day 8

'"Simplicity of character is no hinderance to subtlety of intellect."

John  Morley

A quick study. 1990's

Day 7

"There are no extra pieces in the universe. Everyone is here because he or she has a place to fill, and every piece must
fit itself into the big jigsaw puzzle."

— Deepak Chopra: is an authority in the field of mind-body healing

This drawing was done for a Masonic Brothers Night event. My parents were involved in Eastern Star when they got a bit older. This would have been drawn in the late 1980's, india ink on vellum.  The brother being honored at this event was in a Tuba and Banjo Band and my father wanted something to celebrate that. I did a few of these drawings which were always about whomever was being honored, whimsical, and in black and white. They were often printed on a colored 8.5" x 14" sheet of paper and used as a place mat. 

Day 6

"Life is a perpetual instruction in cause and effect"

- Emerson

This is the logo and device design for the advertisement I posted yesterday. The program is Adobe Illustrator 5.0

Day 5

"Good advertising does not just
circulate information. It penetrates the
public mind with desires and belief."

— Leo Burnett: was a renowned 20th century advertising executive

So before I post an image, I have a question. How do you feel about advertising on Blog pages? I have the option of having advertising on my blog page, something relevant to art, or something I feel needs illumination. The possibility is advertised to me as having the potential for making me a bit of money, I find that advertising everywhere is a bit mind numbing, and I don't pay attention anymore. Will you be irritated,  ignore it or offended if I include a line of advertising at the bottom of the page? Do you ever click on the Advert?

This is a final project for an online Adobe Illustrator class I took this summer (2011) It is an advertisement for KnoiseKnot, which is a device you could mount in your car, home or business. It is designed to stop the boom of bass speakers within 50 feet. It is complete fantasy. My complete fantasy. I had a lot of fun with the research and the design. I actually contacted a couple of sound engineers. The research yielded an important piece of information that is critical to why something like this has not been created. Bass sound waves exit a speaker like expanding, overlapping spheres or bubbles. In order the stop the bass sound, you have to stop the action of the speaker itself. I also discovered that loud bass sound waves are extremely disruptive, and can have a violent reaction on the human body. The Germans (Hitler and his group) experimented with extremely loud bass sound waves during WWII.  The irritation, combined with the physical pounding you feel when a car passes you with a loud bass is very real and not just a sociological reaction to the type of music. Mozart would have the same affect. 

OOPs not a great start 3 & 4

"Lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part." Author unknown.

I need to plan ahead for such things as a freezing studio. My studio does not have heat and it was cold last night. No excuse. I was sitting by the fire in the living room after work. These are both from a period of time during the 1990's during school when I got this urge to do these fanciful faces.

"Lack of planning on your part does not consitute an emergency on my part" Way back when I work for Diablo Dealer, our darkroom and halftone guy had this posted on the outside of his drop box. It remains my favorite quote by an unknown author. Obviously I need to plan ahead a bit for posting while it is really cold, as I have 4 or 5 months of that ahead of me.

Day 2

"You can do anything, but not everything."

— David Allen: Nightingale-Conant author & productivity consultant

The artwork is from my time at the Academy of Art University 1991 to 1995. I was quick and at the time experiemental. 

Day One

I am hoping this is fairly simple. Goal to post something daily, words and image. This image is of a calla lily with the center stamen changed to a rattlesnake head. I did this piece in pencil, sometime in the early 1980s' and it measures apx. 24 x 30 inches.