Sigh ...

Mary C. Ferris

Design & Illustration

Administrative Assistant

Friendly, Personable, Responsible 

Available for hire

Always remain strong, no matter what. Your strength and your ability to keep going is what defines you.

-Unknown Author. 

I have days when it is almost impossible to get out of bed and do what needs to be done. Not for any other reason than I am being worn down by the struggle to stay afloat in this economy.  This is not an easy time to be marginally employed and over 50. We all know that. I wonder constantly if the job I was just turned down for turned me down because I am a little too old. It doesn't matter that I will work harder, be more reliable, will want to do a good job, be willing to work weekends, have reliable transportation. None of that seems to matter. Or does the person who comes in after me have more experience because they have just been laid off after 20 years doing the same job and now they are willing to work for $9 an hour because they have house payments, car payments and children in college. Compared to any of the millions of people who have lost their jobs, I have the equivalent of no skills or too many different skills. Jack of all trades, master of none?

Today I made a long, hot drive to another city to apply for a freelance job. I can tell they weren't impressed. I can do what they need but don't have all the collateral product to prove it. The other side of being marginally employed. There has never been the nice leave behind, there is no new work to put in the portfolio because I cannot afford to freelance if it requires driving anywhere. I have never felt so stranded and isolated by my financial situation. So the quote is about that and how it is making me stronger. It is defining me. Everything that is not important is falling away. To quote my favorite Marketing blogger, Seth Godin. "This is a dip." This is what I have to push through because what I want is on the other side. I want to do creative work, my images and ideas have merit and deserve to be seen. I am good at what I do and can do. I want to have steady income, I want to participate in life. Today I felt hopeful stepping into the river of life and realized part way through that I was slogging through mud.  And because of todays experience, I am stronger, and more clear about what I want, what I need to be doing, and the paths to take to get there are more visible than yesterday. I have not lost sight of the mountain top.